Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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