k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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