I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
