And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
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that wasn't an angel that was the condom fairy
There was no bell. Fired!
So the OP is basically saying that Heaven has decided he shouldn't be allowed to have children. I'm scared to imagine what his children would be that Angels had to be involved to stop it.
Some of us actually have access to large quantities of condoms and are terrified at the thought of the average person procreating, so we go around to bars/concerts/etc. and discreetly slip condoms into pockets and purses so as to avoid polluting humanity any further.
Uh..? What ?
Saved by the bell.
You actually probably shouldn't use condoms you don't remember putting in your pocket, on the offchance they've been in there since the last time you wore them. Condoms that've been through the washer and dryer are not good. Safety first, kids.