I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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