were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
