Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
