What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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