You're so nebulous sometimes
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
