the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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