sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
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And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
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She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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