Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
