She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
