did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
