He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
