I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
