I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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