There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Michael Bay diarrhea
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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