Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
