on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my shit smells like andre
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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