I will die if light touches me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize