She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
