I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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