Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I haven't been this sober since birth.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?