Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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