i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
