i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
