I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
