I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
