i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
