tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
