yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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