ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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