Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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