dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
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gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize