honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize