Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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