I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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