you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
