Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
