btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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