Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Randomize
