Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize