One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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