I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
