they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
