omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
