I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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