i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
