Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
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My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
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We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend