I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
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He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.