Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She bit a glass in half.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
