My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
