No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
