we're blogging at a bar
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
