Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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