what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize