Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
