We need to rekindle our bromance
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
