He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Farmville is her only friend.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
