If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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