If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
