I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
