At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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