That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
